Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Gay Marriage is good for women?

I know this is not what I usually blog about but, bear with me. Since this topic has been hoisted into the spot light here in America, it has been a hot topic. This is my take.

Women should be for same sex marriage.

Think about it-
The largest segment on the population that are poor in America (or anywhere else really) are women and their children.
Marriage was and still is an arrangement of property and wealth. If you have ever been through a divorce, you know it is true. Sure everyone marries for "love" but divorce comes down to property and money. Then, really that is what legally marriage is.
Marrying for love is not a good enough reason. For women especially. We can get into this on a future post. (Marriage is really not a very good thing for most women but most want to be married very badly, interesting.).

Now I do think anyone should be able to marry anyone that they want, when they want. Consenting adults mind you.( No children or animals) No doubt about it. I think that if that were a law, the world would be a better place.

Marriage among women could help with a significant number of poor single families. Women could marry each other for the sake of their children. They could hammer out an agreement amongst each other on caring for their children, bills, health care and who will be home with the kids more.
It really is not a one person job to care for our children. Many men are not stepping up.

Now, I know what you are thinking- you are letting men off the hook, right? Well maybe. They are not stepping up anyway. Kids are suffering for it. So we should have this "ideal" of men taking responsibility forced on us with no way out. Let's be real. I know that 80% of women on welfare in Arizona are owed child support and are not getting it. That is a lot of people falling though the cracks.

Just to add to the environmental slant- pooling resources can be better for the environment.

Imagine a career orientated woman now can work and focus on her career more, and her part time working wife can take care of the children and have benefit of knowing that she and her children have health care and a better life. It is better for everyone, especially the children.

Now I am all for gay marriage in the traditional sense as well. But, let the churches decide morals and not our country or our laws. Laws are for public protection, not moral judgment.
If a church doesn't want to recognize a marriage so be it. I was married by a city major so, my marriage is not recognized in many churches. No skin off my back.

Does this sound crazy to you? Or am I on to something here.

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ThickChick said...

That's an interesting take on the pro-same sex marriage argument... but are you proposing that straight women marry each other to obtain a better property/wealth arrangement? If so, I don't know if I can hop on that bandwagon... call me a naive romantic, but I think people should marry for love, whether we're talking opposite sex or same sex. (Of course, I've never been married ;)
While I think same sex marriage should absolutely be allowed, I think we can come up with a better plan for poor single moms than suggesting they marry each other. But I do admire your creative thinking and if your arguments can convince the evangelicals to give the gays a break on the marriage stuff, then I'm all for it!

Dawn said...

I'm lucky to be married to a man whose abilities compliment mine so that together we seem to cover most bases around the home. But I agree - so many men are not "doing their bit" particularly in regards to being a father so yeah, deal them out of the situation and if two women can create a family situation that is good for everyone then they should be able to.

Jennifer said...

I don't agree with marrying for benefits -- I can't tell if that's what you're proposing or not? I agree that women should be for same sex marriages -- but mainly because I think everyone should be; it's no ones business who anyone wants to partner up with. I guess your post is a tad confusing though. If you are suggesting marriage among women for the benefit factor; not love than isn't that sort of like a sugar daddy situation?

bazu said...

I still can't believe that gay marriage is illegal in our country. We're always a bit behind the curve when it comes to social issues, aren't we? I actually am pretty negative on the institution of marriage for some of the reasons you mention, so: civil unions for all! Marriage for none!

Ok, now that I got that out of my system, I have to say, I love your son's hair! I used to color my hair crazy colors in high school and college too, so this brings back fond memories.

Samantha said...

Bazu- I agree with you. I can not believe that gay marriage is illegal in our country either. I second Civil Unions for all!
I have admit- I am luckily married to a great guy. But, I know how lucky I am.

SaraJane said...

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think that arguments like this are actually hurting the cause. I am a gay woman from the US (though I'm temporarily in Canada for work). One of the main arguments I hear from the idiots who are opposed to gay marriage is that people will "abuse the system" and marry for benefits. As if there are no male/female couples doing that.

It's ridiculous that love is called into question and laws are made against it. The federal government should not have the right to tell me who I can and cannot love and be with.

A few years ago, my (now ex) girlfriend and I had been together for around 5 years. She was in a car accident and I was denied admittance to see her in the hospital. Her family came and would not say that I was also family so I was stuck in the waiting room while my partner was being examined and treated. No one would give me any updates or tell me what was going on. Why? Because we were not legally married. If it were legal, we would have been. Things like that are bs if you ask me. (not that I'm not preaching to the choir here)

But not marrying for love... I don't quite understand why you say that. Going by your logic, you shouldn't be married either, so I don't really get why you are even making that statement.

Samantha said...

I must say that I feel a bit misunderstood by you Sarajane. If two women want to move in together, make a family for them and their children and enjoy all of the legal rights of a married couple shouldn't they be allowed? Whether they call it marriage or civil unions or what ever.
How is that abuse anyway? I really do not understand that? Unless you are sexual, it isn't real love, or a real family?
I really can't disagree with you more that it is hurting the cause. It is a more realistic view on what marriage really is. Whether it is same sex or not.
We are often diluting ourselves thinking that it is magical thing that people do that some how transforms and makes people "more committed". The truth is, commitment happens without paper. It happens in the heart and in the mind.
I am not saying either that marriage in general is wrong. I also do not feel bad for getting married. I am happy and I also enjoy all the benefits I receive out of it. My commitment was solid to my husband was years before I married him though.
I think that it is a huge tragedy that you could not be with your significant other when she was being treated in the hospital. I do believe she needed you to be there too. That should never happen.
I hope you will read the other more recent post with even more explanation into this matter.
I think I probably need to post another entry explaining marriage as I see it. Thank you for your input!